With many classes now being taught online because of the Coronavirus, Dr. Michael Bruening from the Missouri University of Science and Technology parodied Gloria Gaynor as he sang about the woes of online classes.

Lyrics Include:

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I couldn’t teach through canvas all the time
But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long
And I grew strong, I knew how to get along
And so I’m back
The students are gone
As all my colleagues try to figure how they’re gonna get along
I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design
If I’d have known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online
Oh, now go, Leave me alone
I’ve got to lear how to lecture using Panopto
You gave me two days to adjust
To move everything online
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to Zoom, I know I’ll be alive
Oh, my students still will learn
Any my paycheck I will earn
And I’ll survive
I will survive Hey Hey!
It took all the strength I had to not to lay down and die
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my syllabi
And I spent oh so many nights feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high
And you’ll se me teaching on Zoom
But just don’t cough into the mic, or every eye will be on you
‘Can’t hear you, you’re on mute’, ‘Your camera is black, are you still there?’
Got some issues to work out, but I know my grading scheme is fair
Now go, walk out the door
Trying to get this lecture done, and I’m already on Take Four
Now the network has gone down, and I’m all out of wine
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to Zoom, I know I’ll be alive
Oh, my students still will learn
Any my paycheck I will earn
And I’ll survive
I will survive Hey Hey!